So I\u2019m down at the pool hall, when Mr. Wizard walks in. Hadn\u2019t seen him in awhile, so was hopeful that he\u2019d already left the country, but no such luck. Anyways, he walks up to me with a big grin and says, \u201cDo you ever listen to Alex Jones?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well that\u2019s a weird way to start a conversation. And it occurred to me that we were standing in the exact same spot as our first weird conversation. We\u2019d come full circle, but this time my poker senses were tingling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a bluff. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mr. Wizard had not come down to the pool hall because he was so curious about my listening habits. If that were the case, he would have asked a more general question, like, \u201cWho do you listen to?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But he didn\u2019t. Nor did he ask me if I ever listened to any of a thousand other commentators. He asked me specifically about Alex Jones. Mr. Wizard was up to something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Alex Jones, for those of you unfamiliar, is an American talk-radio host and poster boy for \u2018conspiracy theories.\u2019 For you Brits, Jones is the American version of David Icke, minus the shape-shifting reptile people ruling the world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The problem with Jones and Icke, isn\u2019t that they are always wrong. They’re not. But when they are wrong, they are spectacularly wrong. Jones also has the handicap of behaving like a raving lunatic in his public appearances, and so has become an icon or symbol for crazy people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That being said, how was I going to answer Mr. Wizard\u2019s question?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The direct answer would be \u201cYes.\u201d I had listened to Alex Jones. I\u2019d seen him interviewed on TV and on the Joe Rogan podcast, I\u2019d heard his radio show a couple times, and I\u2019d even watched one of his movies, like 15 years ago. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was the honest answer, but, was Mr. Wizard asking an honest question? I doubted it. My poker mind was screaming at me to fold, to reply, \u201cNo, never heard of him, who\u2019s that?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But hey, why be so suspicious all the time? Maybe Mr. Wizard had recently listened to Alex Jones and wanted to discuss what he\u2019d heard. It wasn\u2019t impossible was it? Shouldn\u2019t I be more kind and extend him the benefit of the doubt?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I said, \u201cYeah, I\u2019ve listened to him. What\u2019s he up to now?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was a mistake. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mr. Wizard just grinned like a kid who had unwrapped a new train set under the Christmas tree, then leaned forward and said, \u201cHe\u2019s a nutcase.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The implication here, in Mr. Wizard logic, was that because Alex Jones was a nutcase, and I had listened to Alex Jones, therefore I too was a nutcase. And therefore Mr. Wizard has been right about everything, and I wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Something like that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Never mind that this sort of reasoning makes no sense, I mean he could have asked if I\u2019d ever read Karl Marx, Adolf Hitler, or Hillary Clinton. And though the answer still would have been \u201cyes,\u201d that wouldn\u2019t make me a Communist, a Nazi, or a psycho in a pant-suit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But Mr. Wizard thinks he\u2019s won. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m not sure who was the bigger idiot though, him for his stupid line or reasoning, or me for seeing it coming and falling for it anyways. Of course I still could be mistaken, and there was an easy way to find out. I said, \u201cYes a lot of people think he\u2019s a nutcase, but what was it in particular that caught your attention about him?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, you asked me about Alex Jones, so\u2026 I\u2019m presuming you\u2019d like to discuss Alex Jones?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, I never listened to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And there you have it. Mr. Wizard had no direct knowledge of the topic he himself had raised. He only knew what he had been told. He was a know-nothing know-it-all. It was not even possible to have a rational discussion with him, and that was never Mr. Wizard\u2019s goal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was all just a stupid little ploy designed to fool me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I guess it did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He fooled me into thinking that he was an honest person, asking an honest question, seeking an honest exchange of ideas. But he wasn\u2019t. He wasn\u2019t seeking the truth, or increased understanding, or an exchange of ideas. He was just trying to \u201cwin.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And his juvenile strategy for winning was to maneuver me into some undesirable category that he could easily dismiss. And there I was. At least in his mind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But he had unknowingly maneuvered himself into an undesirable category as well: an arrogant, illogical, douchebag. And from his self-appointed position of authority, he looked down on me, as a lesser life form. Someone beneath his contempt as an all-knowing wizard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mr. Wizard was a Wizard Supremacist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have you ever heard the saying, \u201cBe kind whenever possible, and it is always possible.\u201d Well, just because it\u2019s possible doesn\u2019t mean you should do it. Some people are simply unworthy of kindness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I must admit I was angry, more so at myself than at Mr. Wizard. And yet it seemed that the time for words was over, that only one solution remained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I picked up a pool cue, turned it upside down, and swung it as hard as I could at Mr. Wizard\u2019s head. Crack! The cue splintered into pieces. Mr. Wizard stumbled. I grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head down into my rising knee. Wham! Mr. Wizard fell to the floor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I kicked him in the stomach. He groaned. I kicked him in the stomach again. He was silent. I put my shoe on his face and twisted until his nose cracked, while I shouted, \u201cTake that you shape-shifting lizard person!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But when I awoke from my daydream, I was saddened to see Mr. Wizard still standing there. Still grinning his shit-eating grin. It was a great disappointment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If any more words were exchanged, I cannot remember what they were. I just didn\u2019t see the point. I mean, I could try to explain the error in his thinking, but even if I were successful at that – which I doubt – then what? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Keep talking to Mr. Wizard? To accomplish what? To win?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Win what?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No one was benefitting from our interaction. Neither of us was made better off. It was quite literally a waste of time. So I kept my mouth shut. If silence was violence I was a stone-cold killer. Be gone sir. I have no use for you.\u00a0And so Mr. Wizard walked out the door triumphantly, went to the airport, and flew far far away from me. Thank God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the end, we both got what we wanted. He the victory he so desired, imaginary though it may be, and myself just a little peace and quiet. But unlike his phony victory, my peace and quiet was very real. And I’m going to call that a win.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I later learned that Mr. Wizard contracted Covid (self-diagnosed lol), and though he didn\u2019t die, I’ve learned to live with disappointment. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So I\u2019m down at the pool hall, when Mr. Wizard walks in. Hadn\u2019t seen him in awhile, so was hopeful that he\u2019d already left the country, but no such luck. Anyways, he walks up to me with a big grin and says, \u201cDo you ever listen to Alex Jones?\u201d Well that\u2019s a weird way to start a conversation. And it...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3049,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[21,51],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/dennispresiloski.com\/portfolio\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/wizard2.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6Jba6-Nk","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/dennispresiloski.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3058"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/dennispresiloski.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/dennispresiloski.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dennispresiloski.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dennispresiloski.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3058"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/dennispresiloski.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3058\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3059,"href":"http:\/\/dennispresiloski.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3058\/revisions\/3059"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dennispresiloski.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3049"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/dennispresiloski.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3058"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dennispresiloski.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3058"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dennispresiloski.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3058"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}